I'm boiling with confusion and disquiet. Two weeks ago I decided to rework this story I wrote last year. My protagonist is a young man--a few years younger than me. The new draft is better than the old one but it's still very much off-standard. To me it looks cheap, forced, a downwards spiral of narrative failure.
I want to doze off just looking at the first two sentences. And I know: I haven't got to the gist of the story in myself and I have to tear it apart and live it and write it again, because I'm the kind of writer who can only write from the heart. I cannot sit down to plot and to write a section, reorganize and rewrite like many writers do. I can only write from one line to the next: once I see an untruth or distortion, I delete and start over. I cannot go on telling a story on a false premise.
Most of you know that I only like to talk about things when they're concrete. I could be half way through a project or a not so secret affair when I say, oh yes, this is what I've been doing. I want to speak only when I've sorted out all the logic and emotions as a coherent whole; I want to tell a story that you can understand, like or dislike but one that you cannot refuse. You will not tell me how I'd run my course. It's already set and I'll ride the waves and see where it takes me.
I'm also boiling over a certain scenario which taunts me in my waking life and goes on to invade my sleep. For the most part I stick to reason but my eccentricity gets the better of me. I'd chase it even if nobody is going to agree or if it's coming down to ashes between my fingertips. Something has to give; I'm waiting for it to open up.
I want to doze off just looking at the first two sentences. And I know: I haven't got to the gist of the story in myself and I have to tear it apart and live it and write it again, because I'm the kind of writer who can only write from the heart. I cannot sit down to plot and to write a section, reorganize and rewrite like many writers do. I can only write from one line to the next: once I see an untruth or distortion, I delete and start over. I cannot go on telling a story on a false premise.
Most of you know that I only like to talk about things when they're concrete. I could be half way through a project or a not so secret affair when I say, oh yes, this is what I've been doing. I want to speak only when I've sorted out all the logic and emotions as a coherent whole; I want to tell a story that you can understand, like or dislike but one that you cannot refuse. You will not tell me how I'd run my course. It's already set and I'll ride the waves and see where it takes me.
I'm also boiling over a certain scenario which taunts me in my waking life and goes on to invade my sleep. For the most part I stick to reason but my eccentricity gets the better of me. I'd chase it even if nobody is going to agree or if it's coming down to ashes between my fingertips. Something has to give; I'm waiting for it to open up.
See, now I want to know the scenario! A hint?
ReplyDeleteTeeny one??
Best of luck with the story. Sounds like we are the opposite type of writer, process-wise. I tend to sit down and write a jumble of crap, and keep going regardless, and then cut three-quarters of it. Most of my best, brick-by-brick sentences end up in the garbage once I realize, as I usually do, that they're not relevant to the whole.... I kind of envy writers who can go piece by piece through it. My drafts are always such a mess. I'd be ashamed to have anyone read them. Actually someone did steal some drafts of mine and read them not so long ago, and I was devastated. Felt like it was the worst thing anyone had ever done to me. Anyway, I digress.