Friday, June 10, 2011

The Days (II)

Even I write random entries sometimes. Want to see a picture of the interior of the building I live in? This picture didn't get any touch-up. Just fading light at 7pm on a summer day and the camera's aperture priority.  

Here's to you, who I knew for a moment and will never know again. You don't know it yet, but by the time you realize what happened--and you won't, because people always see things differently at such junctures--I'll have nothing more to say. 

And here's to you, who I can't love even if I tried. I went over the possibility of being with you quite a few times. It caused me grief. How can it be so fucked up, so doomed to fail, when you're such a good person with a lot to give?

Everybody knows I'm unfit for living a real life. Someone gave me this ring 5 1/2 years ago. I've kept it in my nightstand drawer as a reminder of my past folly. At least I haven't made the same mistake again. I don't think I ever will.

I'm not a heartless girl--in fact, I've learned to be pretty honest about not dragging someone through the mud when I can't take care of their heart. I sit and wait. Here's the purple drapes hanging from my four-poster bed.

In the past week I've drifted in and out of sleep. During the day I'm often dozing off, as if I was drowning in a muddy pond. It's pretty rare that I'd feel so lethargic. I should go for a swim--when I'm fit I can easily swim 2km in one go.

For now I can only go to sleep. Goodnight, people.

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